Welcome Home!

Welcome Home! It's been a month since I wrote and it is safe to say that life changed. Everything I thought I knew about time management and schedules has been redefined. I wrote earlier about the process of adoption in our family and I can say that God has blessed. Our two little boys have made it home. Carter Joshua and Seth Allen are finally part of our family. They moved in about three weeks ago and it has been an adventure.

I thought I would go through this odd season of transition. You know like trying to see them as my own boys. I thought I would feel like I was babysitting someone else’s kids for a while. I was wrong. Somehow these guys have felt like my own from day one. I realized very early on that my mom was right about one thing growing up... "Son, one of these days you're going to have a kid that is just like you..." She was right! Seth is an ornery son of a gun. Carter is a daddy's boy and I like that... but Seth is purely a momma's boy.

I love'em and I can't write enough about the blessing that God has given us. It's like life is beginning all over again in our home. Now the challenge begins in raising up Godly boys~

May I Have Some Gold Fish...Please?

My daughter each day at the same time asks to have a snack. It never fails. It's pure clockwork. She always wants cheese or chew snacks or gold fish. I have never seen her ask hesitantly. She normally says it like this, "Daddy, I'm hungry." I reply with the same response every time, "What are you hungry for?" I don't know why I ask, because I know the answer. She replies, "Can I have some cheese"? She knows before she asks what she wants to eat. So what do I do, I get if for her. She knows we will get if for her or help her get it herself. But regardless she has a snack waiting for her each day in the frig.

While I was on Abba's lap this morning He brought me back to John 15:7. "Ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." It goes on to talk about how the Father is glorified by this type of behavior. John 16:23 "...If you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you." Now understand that these passages reside in the midst of themes that flesh out the concept of abiding in the Father. He's no spiritual Santa Claus or magic genie, but He desires to give.

God is always the Giver (see Acts 17:25). That is what He loves to be. And the last phrase of Romans 11:36 says, "To Him be the glory forever." It is more glorious to be a Giver than a getter. Getters look needy. Givers look self-sufficient. So God ordains prayer because He wants us to see Him as gloriously self-sufficient and ourselves as totally needy. So He says in Psalms 50:15, "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me." God answers our call for help so that we get the rescue and he gets the honor. "I will rescue you and you will honor me." Similarly in John 14:13 Jesus says, "Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son." Ask for things in my name! Why? So that the Father may be glorified. So He may look glorious...

I need a little more of my daughter in me when it comes to asking from the Father. John 16:24 speaks to me when it says, "Until now you have asked for nothing in my name;" Well, I guess it's time for a snack... Cheese please~

Adoption Part II

Well, my wife and I met the boys yesterday for the first time. It was a bit overwhelming to try and take it all in. I was physically tired after the encounter to the point I couldn't even process what I truly thought about the matter. We thought it would be one of those things that we would walk in and just know right away that this is what the Father had for us or not. This emphatic yes or no feeling in our spirit. Well, that wasn't the case at all. Even in the time that we were there my feelings changed from thinking that these were the two for us to absolute fear to maybe this could work all the way back to leaving the house thinking I don't have a clue.

I'm glad we have the Israelites to read about in God's Word. People that had every reason to believe in Yahweh through a pillar of fire at night to a cloud of smoke by day. They watched the Red Sea part and converge on the army of the great pharaoh as thousands died at the hand of an Almighty God. They still lived in doubt as to whether or not God would remain faithful. They desired to return to bondage due to their questions about God's faithfulness and even after quail and manna was delivered to their doorstep each morning like clockwork they questioned everything about their existence in the wilderness. Like some wondering drifter at Burning Man would think that a golden idol that stood in the midst of the camp would bring greater stability to their future.

They wanted this feeling that things would be right in their world and a physical image gave more security than the memory of what God had done. This idea that He is faithful only when I have some tangible evidence of His presence. I was looking for a sign or evidence that God would make it absolutely clear that these two boys were to be part of our family. The thing is I want my emotions to make the decision for me. As if my emotions are what keep me in tune with the Spirit of God. I know they play a part and my emotions are something that Abba gave me as part of His creation, but to what extent do they guide my steps?

We have decided to take another step in the process to meet the boys on more neutral ground like a play land at a local McDonald’s or BK. This way our daughter can meet them and play without the limitations and restrictions that the current foster home places on a meeting like yesterday. We are going to walk down this road until God provides an answer through His Word. I'm trying not to rely on some manufactured feeling or assumption that God is going to show up because I need to put out a fleece to believe He still remains faithful. I'm going to walk with confidence that He can close a door as easily as He opened one.

Adoption

I've learned a thing or two in the past year about the process of adoption. It's wrapped up for me in just a small simple statement. It's hard. It's emotionally draining when you consider what you're signing up for. You're saying that I'm going to take a child or children and make them my own. Even if they come from a background that marks no influence of my own and more than likely is skewed beyond belief. It may be that this child comes from a home of neglect, disease, drugs or abuse and essentially I'm saying I want them to be mine. What? I've come to a place that I've accepted the fact I'm nuts. Clinically insane to make it clear.

Today my wife and I take a trip down the road to meet two little boys that have more problems than I care to address at this point. From delays, to concerns of autism they are in a world of hurt. They can't speak or even communicate for that matter and I'm going to meet them to find out if my Heavenly Father wants me to call them my own. One has just turn two and the other is eight months old. They have really never known a person to call mom or dad. They have never been cherished or loved in way that says they have value.

Adoption... it's a funny thing when you realize that we are adopted. Christ adopted us even when we were in a world of hurt. Ugly, sinful people that had little to no value at all in the worlds’ eyes. But thankfully there was someone that was willing to call me His own. He paid more than I could imagine for the price of my destitute lifestyle and past. He loved me even when I couldn't communicate that I loved Him back.

Jesus was adopted. He wasn't Joseph's or Mary's baby. Yet they took on a role that would have intimidated me beyond my wildest dreams. The Son of God in my care as a father.... yikes! Moses was adopted... Even though his birth mother was in the picture he was taken in by total strangers to be their own. To imagine what influence that men like this had on our world even thousands of years later makes me think about what God could do with the life of some child that nobody else wants and yet He entrusts to me.

Time Is To Short

It's been a while since my last post and I've missed the time writing out the thoughts of my heart. I was speaking last week at an event for High School students in Hot Springs, AR. It may have impacted me more than the students themselves. In my time with them I realized that the opportunity to make a real difference in the arena of life is extremely short.

I had the privilege to work with a group of young men that were entering into their last two years of High School. Two years... not long when you consider where life takes you after high school. Everything changes from the people you know to the places you live. Each of us has found segments of life that change at what seems like rapid succession. We move from one church, ministry, city, job or school to another with ease. But what difference was made in that pocket of our past? Were we simply glad to move on from a place we were searching for a way out of or possibly forced out by time or life itself? Either way, what difference did I make?

I approach life as if I have all the time in the world to be used by God. Content with meager bread crumbs of change and movement. I realized this past week that I was trying to motivate students to attempt something in the next two years that I myself was simply a bystander to. What am I going to do to change the landscape of my world arena in the next two years? Time is too short to let it simply pass by...

Extreme Makeover "Home Edition"

Sometimes you have your quiet time and put a nice neat bow around it and then start your day. Your day starts as a totally separate component to your life outside your time with the Father. It's like an “add on” when you build a home. The builder has a price for the home but everything else you want to add to the home to customize and make it yours just drives up the price. Six panel doors, an actual light in your living room (who builds a home thinking you won't need a light in your living room?), rounded corners on your walls, tile, different carpet than the one inch foam matting that they install. You get the picture...

I discovered I have “add on's” to the life God has called me to. He set the base principles and gave me the master plan through His Word and now I've tried to customize things. You know, make it me per say. Give it my personality. Bring some life to those white walls of following Christ.

Well, I found myself today swatting at my quiet time from yesterday like a nat flying around my head being nothing but an annoyance. Some peripherals of my day that truly have nothing to do with my purpose as a pastor, father or husband caused my temper to rise like Dick Chaney's pace maker the past few days. I sat in my office just furious. Hands shaking and ready to rip the next person that entered my domain. That nat just kept flying around like some dive bomber on crack and I could hear it buzzing in my ear. That buzz was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

If you don't know what those few verses say it reads like this: "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It was simply an "add on" to my life. It wasn't something that I felt fit with the personality of these white walls. I mean God didn't intend for me to rejoice right now, He needed me to get these blasted ducks back in line and back on my command. One tubby tubby.... (sorry, random movie quote) I mean really scripture isn't supposed to enter the realm of my daily life... is it?

The Constant Gardner

In recent months there was a movie released entitled “The Constant Gardner.” I haven’t seen the movie, but I love the title. In my series right now about spiritual immersion I have found myself dwelling on the study of plants and their root systems. This idea of the vinedresser and the relationship that the vine and the branches have in conjunction to one another has sparked my thoughts greatly.

In my time with Abba this morning I came across a statement that read, “We must understand that the root of all sin is a lack of fervent love for Christ. The very root of sin is the love and worship of self over God.” If you read much at all, then you have probably come across some authors that you don't agree with on everything they write about. They may have a different perspective on spiritual things, life, marriage, parenting and so on. Because I read so critically I’ve learned to spot differences pretty quickly and that’s not always a good thing.

I write all that to ask if you know what the feeling is like when you spot something you innately disagree with? That something that wells up in you with disparity?” Well, that’s what crept in when I read this statement about the root of all sin. It was like something in me was saying that this train of thought wasn’t correct. And so I dropped anchor on this for a while and wrestled with it. My study asked me on a scale of 1-10, how would I rate my zeal for Christ? It asked if I’m deeply excited about Bible study, witnessing or serving my community.

After reading Philippians 2:3-4, 1 Peter 5:5 and Psalm 51:17 it dawned on my just how true this was. My flesh was proving it as it welled up against the thought that I worship self over God. My pride didn’t want to believe this. My lack of love for Christ was hidden behind my ability to manufacture what I thought was God at work. I guess in a way He was at work, just not the way I thought. He is working even in my selfishness to produce something that reflects Him. Like John 15 talks about when the vindresser prunes in order to produce more fruit. So when I see that my sin is directly attached to the worship I place on myself it makes me reexamine what I define as worship to my King.